My dearest mom and dad,

I write this as words and hugs are the only currency we trade in our family. I write this as there are tons of things I never stop and thank you for. Small tiny weeny things that have made me, me. I would just like to pen down a few, bear with me.

My name. Chhavi. I love it. I hope I can always stay true to it's connotation, your reflection. 

Tanvi. She is my crazy half. She completes me. And she stays up late, so she is there to handle all my mid-night dramas and anxiety attacks when you guys are fast asleep.
( Tan, you should just accept that your name was kept just to rhyme with mine :p )

You have kept our relation simple. And honest. I know everything about you. You know everything about me.  From the people I am texting at 2am to what I had in dinner. I still can claim to people on campus, if you cannot find me, call my parents. They will know where I am. This is because either you are too cool or I am too sharif.

You have let me nurture my love for dressing up in the finest. You have heard my confessions of being deeply in love with clothes and earrings and shoes and have understood it. You have taken me on shopping sprees when I screwed up my test and sent clothes when I was away from home and feeling low.

You have made me wanderlusty. I have memories of sun, sand and beer in Goa. Of tea gardens and houseboats in Kerala. Of snow and apple fields in Manali. Of sea diving for corals and shopping for pearls and good fish in the Andamans. Of the walks on the Mall road and churches in Shimla. Of temples and collecting sea shells in Puri. These memories are like the glowing fireflies inside me, the ones that keeps me sane when the world around me gets insane.

You have taught me to read and write. Read, read and read like your life depends on it and write, write and write like every word you write matters. Not to mention, you gifted me the genes for it and a whole lot of books and night lamps too. 

You have told me to be the propeller in this bell jar of hypocrisy and mediocrity. You have told me to make sure I break that bell jar because bell jars are made to hold vacuum and Victorian watches and not girls like me.

You have pushed me from my comfort zone and forced me to gather my nerves and get out there to fulfill what is not merely a word, dreams. You have assured me that the worst that could happen was maybe enough to stir me, but not shake me.
 
You have loved me like I was and had always been the answer and the question and what world thinks never mattered. You have loved me enough to let me love and care for people without trying to search for the very question that matters. You have made me strong, you have kept me going.

As I sit wearing this over sized sweater of yours dad and the earrings you got me mom, 1500km away from home, I want to tell you.

I love you. With all my heart and soul.

Happy 25th Marriage Anniversary.

Just yours,
Chhavi :)

Some things are constant. Like the amount of aloo in the Sunday morning canteen wala dosa. The taste of aloo parathas of Core 1. The only conclusion that people draw if a boy and a girl are walking by the lakeside.

While some things keep varying. Motivation to save your drowning CPI, the range of expressions while people comment "Design toh chill hai!",and your reaction to that comment.

This semester went by in a blur. It's coming and it lingers for a while.Some of the blurs. 

AUGUST.
The sem started with all of us being thrown in our "departments". The Watsapp group notifications increased as we tried to hold on to each other and try to find a time to party that suited everybody. Design department was a breath of fresh air. Literally, because we spent many classes outside our classrooms clicking pictures and live sketching. We have spent our days sketching leaves and trees and making short movies and wondering how can life be so good, apparently?! Inside we were struggling to keep up with the piles of assignments and developing a 'design' sense.

Rare events when all of us are there and ready to pose. 

Design batch 2014

SEPTEMBER.
Techniche. :) An integral part of my life as we worked yearlong sending mails and stalking people as part of the events team. Those 4 days were epic. When more than 150 people work together to put up such a show, you realize what's it like to be a family. To see the audience happy while standing backstage, it is one of the feelings that you keep deeply cherished in your hearts. 

Team Techniche 2015

Lecture Series Team 2015

OCTOBER.
The trip to Shillong.  11 crazy souls. Hot tea and aloo parathas by the curved roads. Roy Orbison lashing out Pretty Woman as the countless pine trees swings by. Ziplining through the valleys of the beautiful north east. Seven stones, a ball and a girls vs boys match. A huge woolen blanket being smuggled inside the cinema hall. Walking back to our place wrapped in each other. A dark room and a carpet and and the unveiling of some well kept secrets. Cold milk, coffee and sugar being whirled together at 3am. I tell you, those were some days.

The only decent picture we have from the trip.

NOVEMBER.
We had to make a movie. We didn't have a story and we actually ended up making one without a story. We didn't have enough shots with proper focus. So we used the ones that were shot when we were too lazy to get up and switch off the camera. We ended up making a very honest and 'real' movie. The one which might resurface years later and I will wonder "That was me?"!
 
Diwali. It's always difficult being away from family but we have made our own little families here. Diyas, crackers, rangoli, sweets, high paced aartis....we have filled up the cracks in each other of being away from family  so wonderfully. 

Prayukti. We became a family from a batch during Prayukti. Thermocols, chartsheets, fevicol, lights. Every thing that was there in the classroom, good or bad, had a story behind it. when people stopped at looked at the exhibits, silent looks and winks were exchanged between us. 

People who make hostel home.

We all went berserk when we finally managed to get it up there.

Our magnum opus.

My favorite people, all in one frame :)

I can only say. This has been quite a semester. :)

It was just another mundane session of scrolling down Facebook feed and switching tabs between online shopping portals and Quora. Just then I came across a really long post of an old friend, the one which has "Continue Reading" at the end and when you click it, Facebook opens it in an altogether different tab.

The post was written by a friend. A crazy wild friend with curly hair to die for. The one that ended up sleeping right in front of the teacher and wake up and apologize, so very gracefully. The one with that Julia Robert's Pretty Women laugh, so genuine and infectious, that made people smile. I started reading the post assuming it's one of those posts where she writes what kinda bag you should carry for your personality or the latest darlings of the fashion world.

By the end of the post, I was shaken. My eyes were numb and a strong sense of guilt gripped me. She had been in a live-in relationship for a year that turned abusive and violent. That post was her declaration to the world that is not a victim and she has thrown that guy out of her house and life. She went through a phase of denial, hurt, self-doubt, violence and then finally mustered the courage to stand up for herself. She now smiles and feels beautiful. She now wears black dresses and puts on the darkest of red lipstick.

The world had always questioned her ways. I was there when she decided not to give a damn about them and continue shopping. I was there when she was figuring out what she wants to do with her life. I was there when we were about to leave our homes and begin our new lives. I was there initially to hear all about that new life and clothes and people. But I wasn't there when she went through this dark phase.

I just couldn't leave that post by simply liking it. How often do we do that. Like a post or a picture. I don't remember the number of times I have liked her profile pictures the last year and thinking "Whoa, she is having the time of her life". Facebook profile pictures and posts can be so very deceptive at times. But today I realized, one of my loved ones might be fighting a battle I know nothing about. And probably I cannot be there for them, but I can try. Maybe, dropping a few lines of genuine message for someone you love or care deeply about or maybe loved or cared deeply about in the past is not such a bad idea. Maybe, sometimes all they need at times is "Hey, you all good". Don't just like, drop in a few words at times to mark your presence. Keep your loved ones closer. Even on Facebook.

For the girl who taught me this and so many other things in just a few words she wrote on Facebook. Stay Strong You. 

Chhavi :)

“I don’t eat people you know!“

Comments he, while I pace up and run to the other side of the floor for the stairs, wondering how stupid I can be to not know which floor is his room on.  (I was responsible for the room allotment and hospitality of guests in the guest house. My job was to know where room 214 is.)

I turn back to look at him and find him laughing! I immediately realize, maybe,  the person, the lead developer of VLC, who we have so desperately wanted to be a part of our Lecture Series for the past year, is a really chilled and nice person (also not a cannibal).

I was so right about the nice part. No hassles and an altogether PhD in humbleness. He added to every conversation we had over lunch a very new dimension. I was pretty amazed when he pointed out why I was using Madras instead of Chennai and Bombay instead of Mumbai. This guy had done his homework about India very well.

How cool a guy must be if we had posters as Jean Kempf everywhere when his name was Jean-Baptiste Kempf. Very cool. Our Aththi Devo Bhavo theory wasn’t enough to convince him to call him Sir. We finally settled for JB. Any other suffixed name was agreed to not be acknowledged.

His lecture must have been damn-you-if-you-missed event.  I had to because we were managing our mini-hotel. He dropped by late at night, while we were preparing for the next day. What followed was a wonderful and frank and entertaining as hell conversation that ran till 4 AM.  

His stories were complete with crazy hand gestures and sound effects. He didn’t mind pausing in between when we had to work a bit, just reminding me how accommodating and understanding he is.  The food was sponsored by him, ‘back- up’ food as he called it. Chocolates and cakes, since spicy Indian food is not exactly his thing.

The early next morning, we had our own photoshoot, which definitely did not involve any of us standing in formal poses.  When I waved him goodbye, it struck me, how just 24 hours before, I stood at the same spot, rehearsing my “Bonjour Monsieur” nervously. And 24 hours later, we gave him bear hugs (and back up food) to a say good bye to our amazing new friend who just happened to have developed VLC. 

“The answer to that question will always be YES!!”

He joyfully remarked as I ordered another tea for him. And boy he was right, over the next four days he stayed with us, be it any hour of the day, and I ask him, “Daniel, tea?!”. Yes, was the reply that was spatted out from his smiling, sometimes smirking mouth, ALWAYS!  :D

When we googled for his images to be used for posters, we couldn’t find one that had a non-serious aura attached to it. It was safe to assume, this guy was all business-no nonsense ambassador.  So, when he was all ears and interested in the trivial details of my life, and didn’t really mind my chattering skills, my joy knew no bounds.

I consider myself very stupid when it comes to the field he belonged to. But not once, did he make any attempts to reinforce that fact :p Over the days, I saw him interact with the entire frequency spectrum of people. He was the same with all – humble, patient and curious.

He hates cabs. He emotionally blackmailed me to let him walk or bike around the campus. Now that was a problem you see when he didn’t have an active cell number, and you receive calls every few minutes asking about his whereabouts. You cannot imagine my relief everytime I found him coming back to the guest house, usually with a few people tagged behind and bags of tea.

He loves spicy food. So yes, I lost the bet when I challenged him to eat the spicy mango pickle. Though Jaljeera and hot green chilies, was when I won. There were rumors that he played dark room and involved in heavy brainstorming sessions with the MUN guys. I am quite sure they were not rumors. His enthusiasm is contagious.

With all the brouhaha that surrounds this man, it was amazing to get to know how simple and empathetic he is. When it came to clicking a picture with him, no money for guessing that I made sure how wide his smile should be :D 

( Daniel Domscheit-Berg , previously known under the pseudonym Daniel Schmitt, is a German technology activist. He is best known for his role until September 2010 as a spokesperson for whistleblower organization WikiLeaks in Germany. He is the author of Inside WikiLeaks: My Time with Julian Assange at the World's Most Dangerous Website (2011). He gave a keynote speech at Lecture Series,Techniche 2015, IIT Guwahati.)

It's a beautiful place, amidst the mountains and the lakes

The sun paints it crimson red in the morning and the moon silver in the night

You will find your dreams and hopes here

Make your way and make friends for life on the way
You will find yourself again, here

Its a wonderful place, here.

My 'here' for the last one year has been IIT Guwahati. My journey to an IIT was no different than most of those who make it to one. Grueling test series, their depressing results, the cloud of uncertainty looming over head, raining at times in form of extreme stress and zero social life. 

To be very honest, I didn't expect to land up in IIT Guwahati, and in Design branch. But I understood the true meaning of  'serendipity' only when I reached there. Like any other student, I had my inhibitions about venturing into this part of the country. I landed here late at night and decided to visit the campus the next day. I started my day with an early morning visit to the Kamkhya temple and desperately prayed to her, please let this bet be worth it.

I jumped out of the taxi and clicked my first picture in front of the main gate and the mountains behind, you know, just in case, my spell is broken when I enter it. Oh I tell you, how wrong I was! I have never been so glad to be so wrong. :D

There were glistening blue lakes ( Yes, plural ) , lush green football field, a huge glass building ( which I will know in a while is the New SAC) and right in the middle of it, my hostel. The first day was a bit hard because the campus is huge and walking around is not exactly a piece of cake, but as soon as I got my bicycle, there was no stopping. The academic complex was no disappointment either.

That was that day and this is today. The spell is still not broken and I am still to explore major parts of the campus and opportunities out here. I was forced to break through my inhibitions and explore, such is the education system and the student body activities here. There are days where I cannot decide how exactly to fit everything into my day- lectures, club meetings, hobby classes, workshops and seminars, and the list goes on.

In a just a year, I have tried my luck at various workshops, hostel management committee, being a part of fest organizing teams, MUN, ball room dancing sessions, YesPlus living yoga classes at 5am (Yes, that too!) and studies of course (Yes, you have to study after clearing JEE also). I started writing again ( it must be the encouragement you get around here) and managed to accomplish my 4km jogging target (You can't help it, the campus is so beautiful). I now have a crazy bunch of people to call family and this green and blue place as my home.

 You can explore more of the campus through these videos.
Life and Learning At IITG        Drone video of the Campus

To know more about the design branch, this blog by one of our seniors will be a great help!
Department of Design

for more pictures : IITG album

You can read more about crazy first year of college at IIT Guwahati here 
A Place Called Here.  Hostel Day
 
My tips on how to survive these college hunt sessions 
Confusions and Conclusions

My attempts at being "good" at academics  
Matters of the Grey Matter.   The Calm Before the Storm.


And an account of home-coming
Here is There, There is Here. 
  
I hope to see you around soon
Chhavi :)

Yaar bas woh ek question aur sahi ho jata toh 100 rank upar aati!
Mujhe CS mein interest hai, par milegi hi nahi!
Bhai, naya wala IIT ki purana wala IIT.

I am sure a majority of people reading this may have these thoughts, and many more questions, firing across their heads.  A list of numbers (ranks and marks), must be engraved in their memory by now. They must be posting that list on forums and asking any sharma ji ka beta who is in IIT or that coaching wale bhaiya jinka Google main job laga hai for advice. Their interests must be swinging every hour, being mainly defined by "CS-se-hi-highest package-ka-job-lagta-hai" to the 3 Idiots effect I-will-follow-my-passion to iska-syllabus-achcha-lag-raha!

Duh. Been There. Done That.
And survived it! :D

Going through the sudden epicenter of my Facebook notifications, the IIT-JEE COUNSELLING FORUM 2015, I was gripped by a sudden déjà vu. I happily remarked, phir se season aa gaya bhaisahab! :D

IIT, BIT, NIT, TIT, JIT or FIT. (*pun intended) Never knew the permutations and combinations of these 26 alphabets we learned so happily in nursery were gonna end up giving us sleepless nights, right?

How do we choose?

The choosing criterion can be based on what you think your 'interest' is (reading the syllabus and actually studying that thing for 4 years are two different things) or by the name of the institute ( trust me, even the best places in the world sometime might not suit your taste). So now? 

Now nothing. You smartly analyze your options. Actual options, not the rose tinted candy floss version of your options. Talk to people. All of them. Listen to them.

After all this, just sit calmly and make your own decision. Nobody will pass your papers for the next four years and live in that college campus, but you. If it goes good, be glad and count yourself lucky like I do. If it doesn't, you don't get to blame anybody, not even your own self. Shit happens. You go and figure your way out for yourself.

After all this, just lie back and hog as much of home food as possible. Your life is about to take a very twisted turn, much more twisted than that of Game of Thrones finale. I can assure you of that :D

Hope to see you soon back home (Yes, it becomes home even before you know it!)

Good luck finding your new home and family! :)

Glad that I have a college and a crazy bunch of people to call my own,
Chhavi :)

You can read more about crazy first year of college and life at IIT Guwahati here 
A Place Called Here.  Hostel Day

My attempts at being "good" at academics
Matters of the Grey Matter.   The Calm Before the Storm.

And an account of home-coming
Here is There, There is Here. 

Home, Food. Food, Home.

All those who are away from home and deprived of the exotic maa-k-hath-ki-daal-roti- sabzi will know what I mean. And since I have literally done nothing these last few days but gorged on the works of Philippa Gregory, seasons of White Collar and khana, I can't help my brain being a bit khana-fied when I think of people.

I have come up with this theory where (almost all) people around us can be classified into the following kinds.

Maggie log. These are your go-to people. Be it when you are starving at 4am after a long night or the stolen coffee breaks of late evening. On top of the mountains, by the waves of the beach. You have poured your hearts out during that power cut induced candle-lit dinner. The most convenient, easy to cook and eat people. And even though Maggi will be hard to find, I am sure Maggi log will still be right around the corner.

Shreekhand Log, alias Candy Floss Log. Sweet and glossy from far but sticky when approached. Though they can be a bit too extravagantly sweet on our taste buds at times but mostly are worth it. Having them around surely is a reminder of how sweet and simple life can be.

Pop corn Log. Be it any kinda movie, there is nothing a big box of pop corn cannot overcome. Giving them a sympathetic affectionate hug, you can ramble away your heart and brain and they will fill your background with whatever that the director of the movie forgot to put in the movie.
  
And my favorite, the Pani Puri Log. Nothing beats the thrill of eating those big stuffed overflowing rounded entities in your mouth in one go. You don't mind waiting like a beggar with a bowl to eat them. Have them as you like. Sweet. Sour.  And you can always fill them up with rum if life gets too boring. ;)

Will be needing all those log when I work out these extra calories,

Loving people and nibbling (on them)
Chhavi :)